Embracing my shadows

Embracing My Shadows

Always knocking
I keep them at bay
Always lingering
Never have the courage to listen, to what they have to say
Always running
Always crawling in my skin
Will I ever have the strength to look within

Here they are knocking
Well, well, well
Here they are again
Don’t give a shit no more
I’m gonna let them in
Come on in, sit, stay
Tell me what you have to say
Tell me how I’m broken in every way
Tear me to pieces
And watch me decay
I don’t have the strength to fight you
I’m exhausted to my core
Do what you will
With all these broken pieces
Sprawled out on the floor

At first they move swiftly
Swarming all around
They started moving back and forth across the ground
I sit watching
As they come up to me , without a sound
Started handing me pieces
Their messages ; profound
A rude awakening to my subconscious mind
Although painful
Like breaths of air, to this weakened soul
All these bad habits, feelings and pain
I’ve hidden away
Suddenly shown to me
In a heartbrokenly beautiful way

One by one ; the messages were clear
I’m selfish, hateful, greedy, impulsive, dark and sad
I’ve had to be
Myself
That’s all I’ve ever had
They didn’t stop
The messages
Coming so fast
Hurt, crying, lost and lonely
Like watching a movie in reverse
From the pain I’ve caused
The pain I’ve gone through
Then back to the beginning
The beginning of me
Young, bright, brave, beautiful me

My shadows didn’t come to hurt me
They’ve picked up my pieces
And brought them back to me
They’ve left me with this ‘ knowing ‘
Knowing
No matter how dark shit can get
There wouldn’t be any shadows
If it wasn’t for your light
By embracing my shadows
I’ve learned
Never be afraid of being dark
My shadows came out of the darkness
To lead me back to my light

~ April
☆Written years ago, when I began shadow work

Is this life a dream ?

mysticmindsblog

After being prompted to focus on the word ‘dream’ today, I automatically thought of a video I watched not long ago called “Is this life a dream ? ” In this video Alan Watts explains inception and lucid dreaming in his lecture : Out of your mind. It is absolutely one of my favorite. … it always inspires me and gets me thinking ….. can you imagine if we all went out there into the world and made all our wildest dreams come true …. lived them….. climbed that mountain, jumped out of that fucking airplane. …… traveled to the other side of the world and put your hands and feet in that foreign soil….. ran to the person you love,  who is unaware you love them….and have the courage to tell them….sit with the gurus of India…..really left your footprint…. your soul print on this world….so every being will…

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Solar eclipse and the call to stand in the shadow tonight while it brings you back to the light.

I’m sure if you’ve read anything about this upcoming solar eclipse, you already have heard that it’s a powerful one. Let me explain why. The healers are being activated. For the collective healing. A lot of healers I know, myself included , have been feeling the collective for a while now. That’s why for us healers its been really hard. We feel everything. And if its on a collective scale, you can only imagine the weight. Anyhow, healers for weeks, even months now have been saying they feel immense energy coming off their hands, heat coming from their hands, when holding crystals they have sweaty hands, they’ve had vivid dreams, they’ve even been extremely drained and even very ill depending on the healer . We have all been going through immense energy shifts since the total eclipse…that was the catapult leading us to now.  The shadow we’re going to be going through tonight is a final goodbye to all the shadows that have come up since the total eclipse. The shadows  we have felt,  have been dragging us through the mud, but has been extremely necessary for our healing.  Try your best to stay centered. With this solar eclipse we will begin to start moving in the direction of where we are supposed to be . We are coming into and out of this eclipse with a different mindset , a different heart. We know what we’ve been through and what we will not tolerate anymore. If you have learned anything from all these lessons that have been thrown at us since the total eclipse. A lot of self love and boundaries will be happening. A lot of reaping what we have sown will be happening for a lot of us that have  been doing the work . A lot of people leveling up from 3d to 5d. The paradigm is shifting and you’re seeing the old world coming to an end and the new earth being born. Woman especially rising into power, and standing up. Lots of activation’s happening right now. Full moon in Leo , which means confidence , standing up for what you believe in, going after what you want, full of passionate energy. We will feel like we’re coming into this new place of self esteem and powerful self love.  Make sure its in alignment of a high frequency and in alignment of your higher self. Many of us have been  dreaming about how we want our life to be like, our goals, a lot feeling like we’re not getting to this. So much struggle or distraction or obstacles. Things are being brought up to complete that in us that is not healed .  The collective have been  feeling like we’re not even close to being there to completing what we set out to do since the total eclipse. many of us are repeating the same lessons or being presented with the same situation/lesson to see if we’ve evolved or learned our lesson. We’ve felt like we’ve tried and we just cant get a break. so, you might ask okay so what do I do to get to where I want to be after all this?  Stop looking at people for answers that you yourself are going to have to learn all by yourself, without help. There has been a lot of anger and frustration and just feeling like no matter what we’re just not getting anywhere.  Take your time. My guides have been telling me not to rush, that trying to rush the outcome could possibly destroy any possibility to any outcome. That what you are trying to manifest will not happen if you don’t just let things flow like they are supposed to. A lot of things just might not be known yet about the situation or the problem,  a lot about the future events may not be known as to WHAT ,HOW and WHY yet…these things haven’t fallen into place and that we need to be patient, that these opportunities will present themselves when they are supposed to. and not a second before we want it to. Be patient. Stop sending out fragmented energy. Focus on one thing. Then all things in time,  WILL fall into place but you need to put your focus in one place that is for your highest good and then the highest good will come to you in unexpected ways. Keep trying. keep focused.  It’s going to  take your participation to go forward. You’re going to have to fight through and cut through all the bullshit all the obstacles to get to where you want to be. You are going to have to put in the work. Period. Go after what you want without fear and claim it. Let go of the fear that has been holding you back. Let go of the negative self talk that has been holding you back. Now is the time. The gateways , the windows are open…don’t miss the opportunity because you are focused on the negative,  because you are focused on where you are not at yet or what you don’t have yet. It will come,  but you have to take the steps to go after it. The universe wants action from you. You getting so angry and frustrated is only causing negative ripples in what you are trying to do and it will continue to be your reality until to change your perception. You have to overcome the shadows…you need to step into your power. The shadow of the earth on the moon is bringing a collective upgrade of sorts. Since the last eclipse things have been brought to the surface to heal and to be dealt with, brutally. We have been made to face our shit whether we like it or not…why, because it has been preparing us for now. Shadow integration is what has been happening .  Learn when to rest and learn when to rise. Stop wasting your energy. Focus. This Leo energy is going to bring out the lion literally . We will level up and bring out something primal in us .We are  out for blood. Hence, the  blood moon. You are a warrior….and warriors don’t give into fear…and they come off the battlefield bloodied and battered. What we all feel like right about now, right? Pull out the primal in you. Face your shadow. Face your fear. You don’t evolve by being afraid of your shadows and avoiding them, you evolve by facing your shadows and moving through them, that’s how you evolve. time to rekindle your souls fire. No more poor me or playing the victim. Spirit is not allowing you to do that anymore…it doesn’t work anymore and its not serving you to your highest good. Take your time and be calculated and precise .Don’t be afraid of yourself no more.  I heard someone say the other day that  failure is not a person it is an event. Remember that, especially after all you’ve been through, you’re still standing. and you will continue to do so.  call yourself back to yourself. Love yourself. Edit your life and level up. It’s time. So tonight, stand in your shadow and take a deep breath and know this shadow tonight is the one that’s going to walk you back into the light.

All my love and many blessings always,

April

Chnoubis

twiggietruth

In the Gnostic M-Istery tradition, which forms the backdrop to the Rennes mystery, we find a belief in a winged, radiant and loving Good Serpent who was called ‘the Reconciler’, ‘the Deliverer’, the ‘Angel of the Dawn’ (i.e. the Morning Star), and, like Akh, was ‘the Spirit of All Knowledge’. His name is Nous or Chnoubis   Chnoubis therefore is an Egyptian Gnostic Solar icon, found most often on Gnostic gems and amulets for protection against poison and disease. It is a composite figure with the head of a lion and the body of a serpent, usually with seven rays emanating from the head, sometimes, with the twelve Zodiacal Signs.


Chnoubis is an aspect of the Gnostic Demiurge, Yaldabaoth, and is associated with Abraxas. Images of Chnoubis are most often found inscribed on Gnostic gems, small talismans made from semi-precious stone, that date from the first century onward.

 The lion’s head…

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The Young Ones: Witchcraft’s Glamorous New Practitioners — The Witching Hour

Remember after The Craft came out in the late 1990s? It seemed like half the teenage girls you met wanted to be witches. It was a bit silly but also kind of cool. Witches who’d started practicing in the 1980s, after writers and publishers started answering to the growing interest with books that aided the […]

via The Young Ones: Witchcraft’s Glamorous New Practitioners — The Witching Hour